I've decided to call it quits.....I don't like to commit to anything for too long so I'm closing my laptop and saying goodbye. I had fun blogging for the very short time I did and if it wasn't for my ex (Muzbot) I would not have even thought of doing it.
So that's it. Goodbye. Farewell. Au Revoir. Cya Later. TaTa. Ciao. Auf Weidersehen.
I don't normally "get into" the whole christmas spirit.....Bah Humbug, maybe, but I think one of the reasons is that I normally work over this period and my family are a thousand kilometers away. I also feel that Christmas is for children. When I was a kid, this time of year meant waking up extremely early and sitting around the tree waiting anxiously for Mum and Dad to wake up so I could unwrap my presents, making sure that Santa ate the snack and drank the drink you left out for him and then eating, eating and eating. Once I started to grow up, it all just became a massive expense and to be honest, a massive annoyance. I'm not a christian so any religious meaning that Christmas holds is obsolete to me but maybe one thing that does go through my mind during the "festive season" is how quickly time is flying by. Here I am, pushing 40 and I can remember clearly Christmas when I was a child. It certainly doesn't seem like it was a couple of decades ago. I also reflect on what has happened in my rather eventful life and because this year only has around a week left, I start to plan what I will do and what I want to achieve over the following 365 days. This is otherwise known as a New Years Resolution and as with alot of people, my resolutions won't be met, but it's fun to think about it anyway. One thing I do know is that I will be heading overseas. That's a certainty.
Anyway, I've been prattling on and on and on and all I really want to say is this. I hope today, along with every other day of the year is a Merry one. So think of this blog as not a greeting of Merry Christmas, but as a greeting of Happy Days. For today, tomorrow and the rest of our lives.
I am now recovered. I still have the stitches but am feeling ship shape. I will admit that I am, and will be slightly disappointed because deep down I wanted to be left with a major scar. I mean, if you are going to have surgery you want a reminder of what happened. What's the point in having surgery (or a procedure as some people like to keep reminding me) if you do not have a souvenir as a keepsake. I wanted to be able to rip my shirt off and for my people to say "OMG!! you poor thing!!! How did you survive that?", but knowing me all they would say is "OMG!!! You are so horribly disfigured!!! It's repulsive and I can no longer look at you!".
So the one time I go under the knife, I will be scarless. I will be without Scar. Maybe I should have asked for that nose job I have always wanted while I was anesthetized.
I have held off a few days from making any type of entry on my blog because a few days ago I had the unfortunate experience of being the subject of some rather disturbing vitriol from a fellow blogger. I should add that I have never come across this "person" before. I have never read his blog. I do not know this "person" nor do I ever wish to. He shall remain nameless but "apparently" he is a christian. You will have noticed that I have put 2 words in inverted commas, those being person and apparently. The reason for this is that the disgusting, revolting and hateful language he used towards me would not come from a true god loving, life loving human, but rather an animal, therefore I feel he is neither a christian nor a person. Now I do not claim to be a christian or believe in God for that matter. I am certainly open to the idea of a god or a higher being but I am not convinced of it and I also do not hold anything against or think anything less of anybody who has a belief in a religion of any description. But what I am opposed to is when somebody tries to ram their beliefs down my throat or feel they need to "teach" me that my ways are sub-human, not normal and evil. In saying this, they are slandering me and my name. But maybe I am getting off the topic here.
I think people have the right to free speech but I also feel that if somebody is going to suggest that my father was a murderer (he was not!!!! he was an extremely loving, loyal and kind man), that I should be served karposis sarcoma for breakfast (if i did order this, then I would certainly order a side of crispy bacon with it) and that I should suffer death with blood on my head, then free speech enters into a whole different arena.
I have not responded to this "person" in any way, shape or form. I did not reply to his messages, I have not commented on his blog. This is all I am going to say:
I feel very very sorry for you and I am so bored bored bored with the crap that spews from the mouths of homophobes like yourself. You cannot change the world and homosexuality is not going away so either accept it or ignore us because we ain't goin' anywhere. And another thing, when I do go to hell, no doubt I will see you there, because you my dear dear "friend", are not a loving person but the devil in disguise.: :):):):):)
Wednesday night was painful. Thursday was worse and Thursday night was excruciatingly painful. And then I had my appendix out.
What started out as a slight pain in the tummy on wednesday night (here i was thinking it was indigestion), turned into a major case of appendicitis.
From what I understand, this body organ is totally useless, I mean it must be if we can live without it so how can something so bloody meaningless be so bloody painful. I dont think i have ever experienced anything like this. Now I don't mind a bit of pain but there is a time and a place and this type of pain has no time or place in my life.
So Thursday night i had a "procedure" or for somebody who has never had surgery before or been under anesthetic, a major operation :) Well, you would have thought i was about to have a major operation by how fucking nervous I was. But all is well now except for the uncomfortable feeling where the 3 incisions in my stomach are. Tiny incisions but hopefully big enough to see a scar because scars are hot!!! LOL
My plans for the next week have now been put into disarray. And do you know the thing that pisses me off the most. I will more than likely have to miss the Kylie concert on Tuesday night.......boo hoo.......
It is time for me to confess. I can no longer keep this to myself.......
I have been trying for so long to fight this and to rid this from my mind and my body but whenever I think of it, my heart starts to race, my head starts to swirl and no matter where I am, the feeling, the wanting, the need for it becomes all too consuming.
Every day I have it. Every day I need it. If there is a day that I don't get it I almost fall into a state of panic. It is affecting my friendships and maybe I am starting to fall in with the wrong crowd because my new "friends" are not healthy for me.
So here goes. My name is scottiejt and I am an ADDICT. Please help me rid my addiction to